The tears have breeched their hold, and now the word is out
My weaknesses take hold, this heart gives reign to doubt
Cemented in my far outreached, I grasp the feigning breeze
The straining takes my will to live; selfishly they’re seized.
A step alone, a step without, a step when you’re not here
Is a step taken in vanity, advancing only fear
A fear of life, a fear of love, a fear of liberty
A freedom I fought not to take. The freedom fought with me
What words to say, what air to take, what kiss for forlorn lips?
What’s this embrace, who is this face, now gone on the homeward ships?
O distant vessel, curse you’re steer, curse the abyss’s path!
But pray dear carry, do not provoke the solitude of wrath
For you, sailed housing, carry what is not to be harmed nor bated
You carry, oh most precious stone, a ruby crimson-jaded
Jaded by the this love so deep, torn for sacred purpose
Oh dear God, control the seas, thwart not Thy consummate purpose
The floods are freed without their lids, the levy rushed to rubble
I stand amongst my darkly sea of salt water and troubles
Oh curse the paradox of this obedient romancer
The hopeless portion left to drown in its own terminal cancer
Abate, abate, the cleansing sea, refine me now by fire
For I’d rather burn amongst the drops than be crushed by their weight most dire
Oh time, a wretched memory, mirror for now and past
Determine not this fate for me, turn about the mast
No! distant thing, a figure phantom, lost to the horizon
This night, this place, this watery grave persuaded not the mizzen
A solemn weep runs stoic now, trickles down the run
The trees inside these open hollows, burn amongst the sun
A ruddy form amongst the shadow, black-blue of the night
But hopeless cannot justify, nor revel in the blight
For here, I stand, from heart so tender, do I now wish it stone?
So that this path eternity-laden, can somehow seem as home?
No. No. God forbid. Take not away the chalice
I’ll drink the thing which I claimed mine. I’ll drink it not with malice.
O blessed Lord, most Sovereign God, what purposes of mine,
Could ever wax or wane against your purposes divine?
For just as You have called me here, drawn to you more nearly
I trust the everlasting arms to hold me sweet and dearly.
The musings of this murderer, this adulterer, this thief,
Cannot be said to be worthy of comparison with Thee
Just as I have seen so fit to obey amongst the briars,
Let this new beginning be the same, bid me not to tire
For she is there, and I am here, for plan not fleshly foiled
And though a distance seems as a thorn, Your healing is most loyal
Cut not the band that ties me there, break not the sacred seal
You know alone, what I can bear, sustain with Your last meal
On broken knee I take to ground, prostate and contrite
Make me meekness, make me bold, plunge me to the plight
For I’ll implore the troubled blue, I’ll question the new stakes
So I may know the morning dew, of each night’s passing wakes
I’ll sail against the cold quick blades, and let them bite and frail me
And be tossed with the varied grades, and pay the frost it’s steep fee
This be done unto the end, of love most tried; assaulted
To show the Healer’s true amends; Abundance now exalted
Make known Thyself amidst the pain, and cause the scars to smooth
So that we will break the strain, fulfill the vibrant youth
Let time to ripen the diverse dyes of coat so lovely laden
With crimson reds of love so deep, its rosen folds unfaded
For when one flesh will grab ahold of coat love labored sewn
We’ll rest in its undying warmth of love we’ll call our own
And there we’ll journey amidst more seas, amidst more edge and shadow
But this we’ll do so willingly, as we venture the unkown meadows
Together we’ll climb the mighty mountains of your own purpose and will
And at the end of each new day, we’ll hold each other still
Written By Brennan Klensch
What have you done with my friends?
Where have you taken the little one?
I know he was here, and I swear I never recall taking my eyes off of him, but he just vanished.
No, he must’ve been taken.
YOU!! —Wait, there’s no one there, but I swear I just---
I have to run. I don’t know why.
At least not now.
I keep running, harder, longer, my legs and heart growing tired.
It seems so purposeless. Where am I even running to?
To him? But where do I start to look, I mean, he just vanished? How am I supposed to--?
Maybe if I say his name…no…maybe yell it…no, that didn’t help.
Wait, just then! Just then I just felt him almost! Like he was right here. He can’t be far now. So I run again.
But I find it even more purposeless.
Wait! I see him, Go to run to him, with my arms open, but, they are met with a window, I’m seeing him through a window. The window won’t break or open, I even hurt myself doing it, and I see him fall down, try to break the window, need to mend his own cut and in doing so,
I cut myself.
I tried yelling. Didn’t help. He was yelling back, we were both trying to hear each other.
Now walls surround the window, and a room with a window surrounds me. This room is red, a crimson, near black red. I look and the window is gone, but there’s a doorway on the adjacent wall.
I go through it. The room is blue. There’s the window again, and there he is outside. At this point I know not to run. I just slowly walk to the window, and I shed a tear as I look on his countenance, mourning with me, I want to be there with him. He needs protecting. I look down in my weeping, and when I lean my head back up, this window is gone, but yet another doorway on the opposite wall. I walk through; the room is green, and yes, another window. There he is. I remain where I am, scowling at the window. Not at him, at the window.
I turn my head to see if a window has returned to the other blue room….No, but, yet again, the window adorned with the reflection of green light, has now gone, and one more room. A purple room.
Now, I try and outthink the window, I walk right up to it, scowl at it up close. I’m better than this; I’m smarter than the window. But, I’ve become so busy staring down this paned demon, that I almost lose sight of the child. I become frantic, run back through into the red room, then blue, green, purple, red, blue, green, purple. I make my way across the red from the purple doorway and collapse in the blue room. I wail, and plead to an invisible someone for help. What else can I do?
But, after this, I hear the child’s laughter. I almost jump up, I see the child’s hand drag itself across the doorway as he skips through, I run to each one. He’s always just in front of me, or, is it more that he’s a few rooms behind me. Either way, at least the child’s inside, and I know I’m that much closer. But I can’t go to the windows, anytime I do, he’s back out there, looking at me. I must remain inside and search therein. I must not lose hope. I will never give up.
written by Brennan Klensch
Yes i've added a bonus, although calling it a bonus seems a bit self-righteous. However, i couldn't really think of a better word, so, here you are, the bonus is a more straight-forward poem that I wrote about 4 or 5 months ago when I stopped to think about the idea of being a daddy to a son. I'm still working on one for my daughter, whenever she may come. Here's what came out after the thought of the first.
O my son, my son,
What is it you’ll bring
To our hearts when, this world,
Your commencement song sings
My boy, sweet boy
Will the day ever come
When your daddy will be ready
To father a son?
To think of your face
Brings tears to my eyes
Knowing that one day
We’ll sing lullabies
My angel, sweet angel
Can you ever know
The love that I have
For you now, even so?
I think of the moment when
Lying in my arms
You look to my eyes
And you don’t see the scars
Of a world-stricken man
So young still it seems
How can this little one
Have been part of me?
How have we made
So beautiful a thing
Which now comes
Into this dark world and sings
Of innocence lost,
To a world come undone;
Such a brave song
From my sweet baby son
But no, you see not
This world as this man,
For what it may be,
You just see these hands,
That have sworn all their love
To this treasure most dear.
In this moment, for you,
There exists no fear
Oh my boy, my boy
Though this moment I feel
That nothing could breech
My fatherly seal:
That I’d give my life
For only your thought
If it meant for a day
That you would have taught
This world what it is
And this world, what it’s not
And man in his wisdom
Would by infant be taught
For they’ll see only heaven
And what life should be
In those sweet silent eyes
That, regardless, love me
My child, sweet child
I cannot foretell
That I will always do well;
I shake at the thought
Of bringing you up
For it seems but a day
Before I was “grown up.”
I’m scared son, so scared
To do anything wrong
But I promise you this
My love is so strong
Stronger than all
My failures and needs
Stronger than anyone who’d
Dare to impede
On our sweet blessed life
Though it, undeserved be
They cannot break
What they cannot see
I have to admit
I don’t know if I will
Be the best father always
But a daddy I will
In spite of all this
That I fear I can’t do
I’m fearless when I’m there
With mommy and you
In which moment you will
Look into my eyes
Who doesn’t so often cry
But I weep now with joy
For the boy I’ll adorn
With my love, as I dream
Of the day you’ll be born
Words by Brennan Klensch
Thanks for reading everyone (anyone :) )